Most Convenient Stage Placement for Rum Consumption
New York, NY – May 2011
It is, we’re happy to say, not entirely unheard of for we Gents to be the official two-man band at some medium-to-high class event. However, the fine foods, drinks, and unusually clean people at such gatherings are typically kept a good distance from us. So, when we are entertaining at an event with such lavish displays of food and beverage as the James Beard Awards (the so-called “Oscars of Food”) and the organizers plop us down directly adjacent to the “Rums of the World” tasting table with the explicit instructions to “play from 8 to 10 pm and eat and drink as much as you like,” we don’t look our gift horse in the mouth. Which is to say we drink rum all night and high five to our good fortune.
Most Successful Distraction of a Rental Car Employee
Kansas City Airport – July 2011
Our midsummer’s swing through Kansas, Colorado, and Wyoming found The Gentlemen abandoning their official Gentlevan for the convenience and comforts of airplanes and rental cars. Little did we know what misfortunes the plains and mountain states held for our poor temporary vehicle. Within a seven day span, we suffered two not-negligible windshield cracks upon the more gravelly sections of interstate 70 and watched as a Wyoming hail storm pressed a few dozen permanent dimples into the car’s exterior. Rolling the battered thing back to the Kansas City airport, we braced ourselves for lengthy insurance claims, upset rental location managers, or worse.
Luckily we were in possession of a jar of Norm-a-Q, the homemade BBQ sauce concocted by our pal Norm in Abilene, KS. Norm, who among other things only stays up past 8pm when The Gentlemen are in town, makes a really good BBQ sauce.
We were greeted by a friendly gentleman at the rental depot. He smiled at us and asked for some paperwork, which we presented. He began a survey of the vehicle, but was immediately intercepted by two smiling grown-man faces (us!) asking him if he liked barbeque sauce. Do I!? He shouted. I love it! We presented him with the Norm-a-Q and watched with delight as all the energies the man typically devotes to the inspection of a returned rental car were diverted to a long and loving examination of the tender bits of pork and peppers floating in the jar. To our knowledge, he never got around to checking the car for damage. Thanks, Norm!
Yours Very Truly,