Letters from The Gentlevan, Vol 1

Dear Internet,
It gives us great pleasure to re-institute the Dear Internet feature of our website. Here, we endeavor to entertain you with the written (as opposed to the sung or spoken) word. We have re-posted all of our Lessons in Etiquette & other previous postings here for your review. We hope you [...]

Lessons in Etiquette, Volume 5

Dear Internet,
It behooves a gentleman to cultivate special skills that distinguish him from the common citizen. Gentlemen of old directed their attention to swordplay and marksmanship, demonstrating their erudition by poking holes in each other. It was a simpler epoch, and one that we long for. Dueling, however, has gone out of [...]

Lessons in Etiquette, Vol 4

Dear Internet,
The Gentlemen now offer a brief lesson in “Etiquette on the Motorways.” As is our custom, we suggest general principles with a pregnant example.
The scene: It is a pleasant late-summer Sunday, early in the evening. My gentleman partner and I, having just completed one of our [...]

Lessons in Etiquette, Vol 3

Dear Internet:
As the reader is likely aware, the gentleman of old settled his disputes with fisticuffs, sabers, and pistols. And rightly so, say we! For what better way to punish a brute’s vulgar language or peculiar glances than to offer him a thorough pounding?
But alas, dainty forces have overtaken the judiciary, and a [...]

Lessons in Etiquette, Vol 2

Dear Internet:
The Gentlemen have done well by the world, I think. And I must confess, friends, that as a result a new and warmish feeling has found home within me. It is a pleasant warmth, dry and airy. A soothing wind of satisfaction, wafting twixt and ‘tween my entrails, greeting each with a “good [...]

Lessons in Etiquette, Vol. 1

Dear Internet:
Etiquette. Though it is music-making that brings us dollars, it is the gentlemanly art of etiquette that makes us men. And were the Lord to smite us two gentlemen, withering our musical hands with his heavenly blazes, we would still, I’m sure, make our daily journey to the park; not to fiddle with [...]

Badminton: The Gentleman’s Game

Dear Internet,
Badminton. It is the noblest of games; and has been The Gentlemen’s sporting activity of choice for quite some time. For many a sweaty hour, The Councilman and I have spanked the shuttlecock back and forth, oblivious to the time, the temperature, and the lusty glances of passing ladies. Never is our fraternal bond [...]

Andy Bean in Flight, Vol 2

Dear Internet,
Habitual readers of this, our electronic journal, may recall the varied tribulations faced by a traveling gentleman: the wrinkling of the trousers, the absence of washroom attendants, the recklessness of the baggage handler, etc. But none of these is so irksome as the relentless procession of cock-eyed glances from one’s fellow travelers. I, [...]

The Councilman’s Night of Depravity

Dear Internet: It has been too long since I have filled these electronic pages with stirring words! Too long has my typing pen lain dry! My esteemed friend S.A. Bean will no longer be burdened with commandeering this ship made of unwieldy internet timbers! Yet since my gentleman partner has so ably manned our ‘netquarters [...]

A defeat for The Gentlemen in NYC

Dear Internet: We, Gentlemen, envy the common hireling. Predictability! Routine! How we sometimes long for thee! For how often, dear reader, does even the most insignificant of office peons arrive at his desk in the morning only to find some stranger there, doing work similar but inferior to his own? I dare say, infrequently! Noble [...]